For today's IT world, we still have a lot of pieces of 'Papers'.
Recently, I was speaking to a close friend of mine, funnily we both met our husband in this dodgy little bar, in a little corner of the CBD of Auckland, called 'Margarita'. She's been married for a while now, and obviously so have I, the differences I guess are that; I've got kids and she doesn't; She's got an affectionate husband and I don't; She wants to move to NZ, but can't and I can go back anytime I want, well sort of, not financially anyway. Anyhow, other than we both met our match at the same dodgy bar; we are both Malaysian Chinese married to a GuaiLo/AngMo/MatSalleh/Pakeha; we are from the same little town called Sitiawan. Being brought up in a little town has it's pros and cons. One of it's con is that, everyone knows everyone, and no one seems to have much to do but to gossip! And definitely doesn't help with the 'old' conservative thinking, so more to gossip about.
Back to the topic... Is marriage just another piece of paper among the piles of papers we already have? Do we stay in a marriage becoz of that piece of paper? OR is it becoz of our vows? OR is it becoz of our parents, especially the Asian side? OR is it becoz it's our comfort zone? Anyone in a marriage would tell you that it isn't easy, being in a mixed marriage is even harder, with the difference in culture and up bringing. I think alot of Asian marriages are held up by obligation to the 'family'. Divorce although is very common now-a-days, still it is a disgrace to the 'family' in the Asian society, and it's always the women's fault: "She is not good, that's why the husband don't want her"; "The parents never raised her up properly" hm.. er.. can't clap with one hand, ok ?? I don't think a lot of 'white ppl' would understand why a marriage between 2 ppl has to do with everyone else in the family, especially the female side and I mean the WHOLE 'family' including the grandparents, the aunts and the uncles!! BUT I'm telling you it does!!!
Are there any other couples out there that feels totally repulsed being touched by the husband ?? I went thru that stage! Is that's normal.. ?? Could it had been pregnancy hormones??? It's getting better now.. least my hair doesn't stand every time he touches or kisses me. I know there is "the 7th year itch", is there a 4th year thing?? Now that it's 5 years, oh my goodness, 5 YEARS!!!!!!! Things are getting better.. ChiwiDad is slowly turning into an 'EGG' (White on the outside, yellow on the inside) and I guess we are finally accepting each other, that I cannot change him, immediately, hehehehe, but eventually, muahahahaha. Plus we finally accepted the fact that we are stuck together(this is our longest relationship EVER! My record was 6 months, his was 4 months), so there was a lot of getting use to.. and also there is no other way out.
SO ... Carpe diem! "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die" :)
Call it New-Age, call it Blasphemy, call it whatever you want, but it makes sense to me.
